Sunday, November 25, 2007

So Long, Holly

We came home from turkey with the Adamski side of the family Thursday evening around 6. I let Holly out of her kennel and she was a spaz as usual. She ran to the front yard, took a leak, and trotted off down the sidewalk. This isn't usual for her, but it's not the first time she's done it either. It really ticks me off when she does it, so I just threw my hands up in the air and went inside to cool off. After 10 or 15 minutes, I had calmed down enough to go get her. Olivia and I, leash in hand, jumped in the truck and headed off down the street looking for my dopey dog.

After 30-45 minutes we still hadn't found her, which is strange in a town as small as New Berlin. So we went home. By bedtime she still hadn't shown her face yet, so I left her kennel open for her and went to bed. My sleep was restless as I worried about my pup, and first thing Friday morning I hopped in the truck and drove the streets of New Berlin again. Still nothing. She has my phone number and address on her collar, so I fully expected to get a call sometime Friday. After another trip around town Friday afternoon and no phone calls, still nothing.

So, here it is Sunday evening and I've seen neither hide nor hair of the mutt (pardon the pun). Now, I've pretty much accepted the fact that she's not coming back. It's a bummer, but part of me is actually a little relieved. She's not super old, but over the past 6 months or so she's been getting more and more lazy or senile or both. She's mostly deaf, so she won't respond when called. She's been less and less concerned with her personal hygiene, which is an issue with a baby on the way. She's basically been just more and more unruly and harder to control. I've heard of dogs running away when mother nature tells them their time is coming to an end, so maybe she knew something I didn't. Or, maybe she just wanted to live somewhere else.

In light of her recent behavior and the impending arrival of Nate the great, I had already been stewing over how things would work with the dog and what kind of decisions I would have to make regarding her. It seems the decision has been made for me. Although sad, it has also been surprisingly liberating for me. I no longer have the constant worries about keeping her from making a mess in the house, or cleaning the mud off her on rainy days. I don't have to worry about how she will accept Nathan. I still miss her, but I'm really thinking this may all be for the best. Perhaps this is God's way of reducing my obligations, freeing me up to be a better father for my boy. My only hope through this all is that Holly hasn't suffered any and doesn't suffer whatever her fate ends up being.

There is still a chance that someone could call tomorrow and say they found her. We haven't got rid of her stuff yet. But, I'm honestly (and surprisingly) cool with whatever the outcome is. Realistically though, this is really a goodbye. So long, Holly. You were usually a good pup!


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